When I served in the Army years ago, a weapon stuck a blow into the back of my head. It resulted in Traumatic Brain Injury.
After I returned to civilian life, I struggled with depression. When going through a depressing episode, I isolated myself from the world. I spent most of my days in bed. I didn’t feel like doing anything and I drowned myself in sorrows and feelings of unworthiness.
One day I received a Veterans Affairs flyer with a message about depression and mental illness. It gave information about making an appointment with a counselor if I was struggling.
At the appointment, the counselor diagnosed me with PTSD. Shortly after, I met with a psychiatrist who prescribed medication to treat my depression. While on the medication, I experienced a manic episode induced by the medication. I was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
I was still struggling emotionally, and at times I felt as though God had abandoned me. But that was far from the truth because God was with me even in my darkest hour.
My family struggled seeing me with this mental illness. Yet, when it was hard, my faith was constant even in the storms.
I have now come to accept my disability and I share my story with people saying it is possible to live a normal life even if we are living with bipolar disorder.
For ten years I took meds and always having to try different types, too many to remember. At one point I was taking an injection once a month.
The story of Job in the bible who counted on God even in his terrible suffering, encourages me when I am feeling down. I give thanks even when I don’t feel like praying.
After much counseling, I have not taken any medication in over a year and rely mostly on prayer meditation to manage the bipolar symptoms. For months now, I have been stable with no manic episodes and God’s help with depression. I listen to worship music and attend church daily. It is a great source of comfort and inspiration giving me new life daily.
Note to reader: Never stop taking your meds without consultation with your psychiatrist.
John 16:33, “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Jesus promises us that we will have trials and tribulations in this world, but because He has overcome the world, we can trust Him in the storms.
Marco (Warrior) Benavides
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